Should My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Stop Using Me for Material?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?